There are many things we already know about Chuck Norris a.k.a. Walker: Texas Ranger. For instance, we know his tears cure cancer (he’s just never actually cried), his chief export is pain, and he doesn’t have a chin, just an extra fist. What you may not know is that in addition to inspiring legions of internet fanboys to sing his praises with endless jokes about his talent for making death cry and his affinity for ass-kicking, Chuck Norris is actually becoming a Texas Ranger…in real life. Despite being 70 years old, Norris is finally getting the title he worked so hard to earn after 8 seasons of mowing down the bad guys with his mighty fists and devastating roundhouse kicks to the chest. As epic as it sounds, Norris won’t actually be bringing the pain with his new title. Texas Governor Rick Perry is making the actor an honorary member of the Texas Rangers squad.
Norris’ younger brother is stealing a bit of the thunder because he too will receive the honorary title for his work as a stunt coordinator and producer on the show – but let’s be honest, he’s really just being rewarded for growing up in the same house as Chuck Norris and living to tell the tale.
And in case you’ve got any hair-brained ideas about trying to crash the ceremony, you’ll need more than an extra fist under your beard. The event is taking place at an unnamed Texas Rangers office somewhere in Dallas, TX and you’re not invited. It’s too bad though; I guess you’ll just have to imagine him celebrating the honor by cutting through jail cell bars with his cowboy hat or splintering his honorary Ranger badge into metal slivers using only his two front teeth.
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